My Shifty Life
by Jikookluver16
Summary: What if the reason Clint has such good eyesight is because he is a hawk? well a hawk shifter. But what if shifters are known as vermin and those who are shifters are supposed to be killed? How has Clint survived? what difficulties has he faced? and who is this mysterious lover that he has? Please leave comments! and rating is subject to change.
1. Chapter 1

_They say everything happens for a reason. that everyone is born and lives for a reason. and usually everyone is told their reason at age 10 by the mystics... Well that did not happen to me or anyone like me. and now i know that it sounds crazy. the mystics, the all powerful, future seeing beings not wanting to see my future, hell not knowing i exist as i never even went to see them. well see i am a shifter, born with the ability to shift into a single animal. not much is known about us shifters, since we are rare, but we are the freaks of nature. in most cases we are killed to keep from populating the earth with our "freak genes." but my mother somehow hid my identity at my birth. but thanks to her i have lived the most shitty, but turned amazing life ever. My lover has told me that i should tell my story, to let others know how it is to be a shifter. to help other shifters who may have survived and show that good things can come out of the shit hole. so after 26 years of living, i have finally started writing._

 _My name is Clinton Francis Barton, i am a Hawk Shifter and this is my Story._

* * *

 _Age 5_

 _The first thing i remember doing as a child was running, hiding, and trying to stay away from my father. my father, mother, and older brother were the only ones who knew i was a shifter and my father hated my mother and i. my mother for she is the one who had decided i should live instead of die like my other shifter brethren, and i for i am not normal. My brother never truly loved me, but who could blame him._

Clint looked up at his father as the old man raised his belt again and brought it down on Clint's frail frame. The older man was drunk once again and had decided to take his anger out on Clint. tears ran down his face as the belt continued to hit his back, chest and stomach, Areas the father knew would be hidden by the shirt. The little boy was past pain at this point and could feel the gentle blackness of unconsciousness claiming him before the belt hit him one last time.

A few hours later, Clint slowly woke up with soft whimpers of pain. just feet away, lying on the couch, lied his passed out drunk father and on the floor lied his beaten mother, having also been beaten to an unconscious state. Clint slowly stood to his feet, whimpering before he noticed his brother was right next to him, glaring at Clint. "this is all your fault fucking freak." Barney hissed at his brother before the older male finally left Clint alone.

the young blue-eyed blonde stared after his brother before tears finally fell down his face again and he limped off to his room, holding his stomach as he tried to figure out where he felt the most pain. once finally in his room, Clint grabbed his worn out stuffed bear, curled up with it under his bed and fell into a pained filled sleep. the teddy bear clutched tightly in his grasp.

The next morning Clint could hear his father banging around just outside the door before finally slamming his bed room door open, but Clint did not move from his hiding spot. after moments have passed, the old man had finally left Clint's room to drink more beer and actually get ready for work. Clint could hear his brother walk past his open bedroom door, getting ready for school and after 30 minutes had passed, his father and brother had left the house. Clint finally crawled out from under his bed to see his mother. he noticed her pained, depressed look and saw her small smile. "i am so sorry Clint." his mother murmured as she walked over to the little boy. "it was my fault that you and i are in this mess." his mother said.

"mama...what do wou mean?" Clint asked, still having trouble pronouncing his y's. "baby, it is my fault we are being beaten. i have always wanted a second son...but instead you were born." His mother said as she ran his fingers through Clint's bright blonde hair. "it it my fault you have so much hatred toward you from your father and brother. and it is my fault that you are a freak." His mother said as tears poured down her face.

"i was not faithful to your father, but i did not know that i was unlucky enough to have been with a shifter...and you are like your real father, a shifter." the said as she gave him such a sad, broken smile. "but i will make this better, for the both of us." she promised Clint as she pulled out a knife from the waist band of her sweat pants. it was obvious that she had planned on killing herself and her son after her husband and oldest son had left the house. "it will be best for us Clint." she told her son, first cutting her wrists, cutting deeply to make sure she would die. "you won't live to be a freak...you won't live to shift. it will be best baby" his mother murmured softly.

at this point Clint had stepped back in fear as he saw the blood pour from his mother's wrists. "mama...what are wou downg? mama what is the red stuff!" Clint cried, scared by all of the red liquid. "Clint, come here, i promise it won't hurt for long." his mother murmured, giving him a small smile, that seemed lighter now that she was going to die. "we will be in a better place." she promised her youngest son, but Clint shook his head and ran, as fast as an injured boy could, from the room and outside calling for help. he wanted help so his mommy could live. but the neighbors had already left for work and by the time Barney had gotten home from school, Clint was a mess and their mother dead.

It was just hours later, with Barney yelling abuse at both Clint and the corpse of their mother for the police to knock at their door with news that their father had been in an a accident and had died. the police soon discovered the body of their mother and within 30 minutes the of the discovery, Clint and Barney had been taken away by social workers to the closest orphanage.

* * *

 _It was during this time i was questioned and questioned on why i had been covered in blood and what had happened. but for years i had gone selective mute. no one knew what my mother had told me. I never wanted anyone to know what had happened, but i believe this to be a very important factor of my story. and even though there are some shifters who have never had to deal with this, they may relate to being called a freak. i will later tell you on how to spot a young shifter as shifters usually do not start shifting until the age of 10. though that is not always the case as there have been some early birds and late bloomers._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: ClintandNatasha- I haven't exactly decided yet. but this story will def be either Clintasha or Philnt ;) those are the only two people that i can really see Clint with anyways XD**

 **Also, all bold words will be Author Notes to keep italics and regular wording for Clint's story...he is literally telling me this sooooo i am going to let him have those two styles...*breathes out a sigh of relief as Clint lowers the bow and arrow XD***

 **i might make a few one shots between the years if you guys want me too. they may be short but it might bring in some insight :) the one shots will be posted separately of course!**

* * *

 _So i have mentioned on how some people can shift later or earlier in life, well i shifted earlier. i should tell you all that the first shift is actually forced and days leads leading up to it results in illness, cramps, pain, mood swings (mostly in anger and depression) and not wanting to eat or drink anything. the first Shift is extremely painful, in fact some have died shifting and were found in mid shift._ _you all may think i am crazy for telling you that, but you all need to know exactly what know what we go through to be able to shift for the first time. but luckily after the first shift, we can shift on will._

 _i'm not exactly sure why that is, though i have always thought that it was because the body and brain need to know what they need to shift into before it can be done freely. after the first shift it can be relatively painless. though after meeting a rhino shifter, i have found out that the larger the animal can cause pain, even if it is just minor pain. i'm told it is because of the bones having to grow and reform and i think that may be the same for the smaller animal shifters too. but i have only met one small animal shifter and she never admits pain._

 _And i perhaps should explain a bit on how one knows about who is a shifter and who is not, but i am now thinking that should be saved for later. it has saved my life after all. and that is a tale to be told on a later date._

* * *

 _Age 8_

it has been three years since his parents have died, two years since he had ran away from the orphanage and followed Barney to the circus. it was during this time that Clint had to earn his keep. Whether it be cleaning after the elephants, feeding the lions and tigers or even cooking and cleaning up the fair grounds. Clint could hear, as he walked to the animal cages, Trickshot and his older brother talking about Trickshot's bow and how Barney was a horrible shot. Clint couldn't help but smile at that as he rarely heard his brother get a talking down from anyone. mostly because Clint tried his hardest to keep away from Barney and those Barney hangs around.

"hey stripes, i got the freshest steak i could find for you." Clint told the large tiger, smiling at the creature. the tiger gave a loud snort before it gently took the slab of meat from Clint. the animals saw Clint as one of them and never tried attacking the young shifter, though many could not understand why. The tiger gave a rough purr as Clint rubbed his head and Clint laughed softly. "silly stripes." Clint said with a fond smile on his face. since the death of his parents, Clint never spoke. but since arriving here, Clint had gotten into the habit of only talking to the animals. he never made a sound when it came to humans, whether it be a laugh or a giggle of happiness or a cry of pain.

one of the gymnasts watched Clint with a fond smile before walking over to the young boy. "Clint, come with me after you finished feeding the animals." she told Clint with a kind smile before she walked away, though stayed within sight of the young eight year old. Clint looked a little shocked, but grinned and hurried through his chores of feeding the animals. "i'll be back later to clean and feed you guys." Clint promised as the tiger and lioness gave a soft roar.

Clint and the gymnast made their way to the big top and the gymnast smiled at Clint. "you've grown up since you came here two years ago Clintae" the young woman said as a Spanish male walked over. "and as you are almost 10, we thought we would help you." the woman, also known as Maria, said as she as she took his hands. "we know what you are, for we are like you Clintae." the man, known as Juan, said in a thick Spaniard accent, smiling down at Clint before kneeling in front of him. "we want to help you, young silent one." Juan said as Maria nodded.

"and we can prove it." Maria said, just before she shifted. Maria had shifted into a beautiful, sleek furred red wolf. she had dark brown eyes, just like she did in her human form. Juan looked at Maria, a loving expression on his face before he also shifted. Juan's form was a large Bengal tiger. Clint looked shocked and even stepped back from the wolf and tiger in his shock, before what happened finally registered. Clint's eyes widened before he let out a full grin, just as Maria and Juan shifted back. "w-wow." Clint murmured softly, making Juan laugh and nod.

"yeah Clintae, we are just like you, special." Juan said as he knelt down next to Clint. "and we want to help you young one." Maria told Clint with a gentle smile. "come on young one, we will show you some simple acrobat moves." Maria told him. "starting on the ground first and then we'll set up a tight rope that is only a few feet above the ground." Maria said, with Juan nodding in agreement. "si, it'll be great." Juan said, smiling at Clint's excitement that showed on the young boy's face.

So for the rest of the day, before the showing, The two acrobats taught everything they knew to Clint, starting from the basics of a simple cartwheel and how to fall without hurting one's self. by night fall, Clint had learned how to do a perfect cartwheel, and could almost fall without hurting himself. Juan smiled and ruffled Clint's hair in a loving and fatherly way. "come along Clintae, we must get the grounds ready for the big night!" Maria said, grinning brightly and the three shifters headed out the prepare the tent for the night.

* * *

A few weeks had passed and everything was going well for Clint, learning to fall properly, learning to walk the tightrope and learning how to do different kinds of flips. though it wasn't all good, as lately Clint had been feeling sick to his stomach to the point he had throw up a few times. Maria looked concerned about this and had been able to talk the ring master into letting Clint rest and sleep instead of working. "-if that boy gets anyone else sick, he will be working twice what he usually has." was the ring master's only comment. Juan and Maria were able to confirm that Clint wouldn't be able to get anyone else sick.

"d-don't feel good." Clint murmured, panting softly as Maria gently pushed his sweat soaked hair back off his forehead. "it's okay mio figlio." Maria murmured softly. "you'll get better soon Clintae." Juan said as he gave a soft sigh and went to prepare a stew for dinner, hoping this would be one of the nights they could get their young sick friend to eat. it had already been 3 days and Clint has eaten very little, throwing up if he ate too much, and it was worrying to the two adults.

Hours later, night had rolled around and Clint was not getting any better. in fact, his condition had worsened and he was now whimpering and moaning in pain. Maria and Juan looked concerned before Juan finally moved and wrapped Clint up in a blanket and picked the small, skinny boy up. "he must be about to shift." Juan murmured, glancing at Maria for a moment before he ran out of their trailer, heading for the nearby woods. Maria followed as fast as she could.

They could not have Clint shifting for the first time in the trailer, not when it would just freak him out even more. it would do Clint no good that if he can make the change to have changed in an enclosed area. especially if little Clint's mark was correct. Clint whined, struggling weakly in Juan's grasp. "mmm, no...don't...mmmm" Clint groaned out, his facial features contorted in pain as tears started to slip down his face. "...st-stop..." Clint whimpered out, his voice causing Juan a great deal of pain by how much pain filled the boy's tone.

"it'll be okay Clintae." Juan murmured before he finally sat Clint down, pushing back his sweaty hair gently as Maria knelt down next to him. "Maria, go a head and shift in to a wolf, it may help him calm down when he shifts for the first time." Juan told his wife, glancing at her to see her nod before she effortlessly shifted. just as Clint began to scream in pain and twitched and squirmed in the blanket. Juan quickly unwrapped Clint just as he noticed the young boy started to grow a bit smaller and started growing golden feathers.

for Clint, it seemed that the shift had gone on for hours, when in reality Clint's body had quickly shifted into a young golden hawk. it was soon that a young golden hawk had taken Clint's place on the blanket and was looking around with bright blue-grey eyes. a larger red wolf and a beautiful orange bengal tiger soon joined him and the three creatures looked at each other for a moment, the tiger and wolf smiling slightly as the hawk looked itself over, surprise evident in it's eyes before the young animal finally looked up at the wolf and the tiger and chirped happily.

* * *

 _That was the first time i have ever shifted and even today i can remember every day of the pain i had gone through. but i can also remember the surprise on how much better i had felt after i had finally shifted, like ice applied to a burn. Juan and Maria told me everything the next day and since my first shift, i learned to control my shifting. one can lose control in immense anger or a desperate situation. i would know, i live like that most of my life. though it is thanks to SHIELD that i can get a break._

 _i hear the circus is still going around, and that it is still as corrupt as ever, but that Maria and Juan have moved on. i don't know what has happened to them, but i hope everyday that the two are alive and well. i still think of them now, and i am glad for everything they have taught me. they truly were the mother and father i never got the chance to have. i must go now, my lover is waiting for me, we have a date night tonight. i hope i can get Nick to watch Lucky and Alex._


	3. Chapter 3

_This may be short, but this was the first time i ever shot a bow, the first time that had gotten to hold one. and it was also the first time that i had ever shot in a circus performance. this was where i got my name from, The Amazing Hawkeye. and even now, those three little words still ring true. but i still work so hard to maintain that, i after all can not skip out on my training and expect to stay a hero._

* * *

 _Age 9_

Clint looked around the trailer for a moment, his icy blue-grey eyes taking in his surroundings for a moment before he grinned and snuck past a sleeping Trickshot to get to the old, ivory bone bow and quiver of arrows. He was unsure why, but he had felt drawn to the arrows since his shifting. _'i will return them, maybe._ ' Clint thought as his little hand grasped the bow and he quietly grabbed the quiver and snuck out of the trailer, wanting to find a place to practice. "i can hide these in the tiger's pen. Stripes won't mind." Clint thought with a bright smile and he ran off to the tent he knew Trickshot and his brother had been practicing in.

Clint looked over the bow, curious on every bit of it. he smiled after a moment and picked up an arrow, looking the arrow over before he finally set it against the bow, the end of the arrow resting against the string. Clint thought back to what Trickshot was always telling Barney, when Clint was able to watch in secret, and he took a deep breath, pulling back the best he could and letting the arrow fly. the arrow had gone wide, but had hit the target in the most outer circle. Clint grinned brightly at that and he laughed. "awesome!" Clint said happily, just then hearing steps behind him. he froze, lacing back as he was Trickshot looming over him.

"Well, Well, Well, look what we have here, a little brat thinking it cute to steal my bow." Trickshot growled, glaring down at Clint as the younger boy stepped back. Trickshot lashed out, grabbing Clint's arm. "no, you want to shoot, you will." Trickshot said, smiling viciously down at him before letting Clint go. "now shoot, anything but a bulls-eye will result in punishment." Trickshot told Clint, pulling out his dagger with a sadistic look on his face. "you will wish you had never touched that bow." Trickshot promised Clint before he stepped back. "for everyone you miss, you will get a single cut across your arm. when i run out of room to cut your arm, i will cut on your other arm." Trickshot promised before smirking and nodding. "start little brat." Trickshot told Clint.

Clint was shocked by Trickshot's request before fear sunk into the young shifter. Clint gave a shaky nod, his eyes full of fear as he slowly turned toward the target. as he raised the bow, his hands were shaky but he quietly set an arrow against the bow and pulled back. the bow shaking slightly in his hands as he let the arrow fly. the arrow skimmed the target but hit the hay behind it.

"that's one, again." Trickshot growled out, smirking evilly at the 9 year old boy. Clint looked up at Trickshot and shook his head. "i don't wanna do it anymore." Clint murmured out and Trickshot glared down at the child. "you will shoot that bow until i tell you to stop. you wanted to shoot it before." Trickshot said before leaning down some, smirking meanly. "i will show you what i put your brother through, and he still can barely hit the target. but you at least hit it on your first try. now again. any more sass will result in five cuts or five whippings." Trickshot stated. "my choice." Trickshot said with an evil chuckle before standing back to his full height.

Clint was shaking, shaking his head viciously he didn't want to shoot the bow any longer, not when it was being treated as something like this, a type of torture. "okay, five whips." Trickshot said, moving toward a whip that was hung near the entrance. Clint's eyes widened in fear. "p-pl-please d-don't" Clint whimpered softly. Trickshot raised an eyebrow before pointing at the target. "shoot, hit the target and i might reconsider." Trickshot told Clint, though he had no plans on changing his mind.

Clint gave a small nod and took a calming breath, to try and settle himself down before he shot at the target. he had gotten lucky and landed just a couple of centimeters above his first arrow that he had shot. Clint couldn't help but smile at that, with Trickshot looking a little impressed. not even Trickshot had seen someone so young and new at shooting a bow hit their target the first time, and then prove they could hit it again.

Trickshot watched Clint shot at the target, slowly getting toward the bullseye before Clint finally ran out of arrows. "that was 32 arrows, not one hitting the bulls-eye." Trickshot stated. "i will knock one off though for hitting the target when i said to. so you have 31 cuts and 5 whips." Trickshot said, looking down at Clint with an smirk. "we'll do the whips first." Trickshot stated. "take off your shirt, or the whip will cut right through it." Trickshot stated as he uncurled his beloved whip.

Clint's eyes widened and he shook his head. "y-you pr-promised!"Clint whimpered. "y-you s-s-aid you w-woul-w-wouldn't whip m-me!" Clint said, his eyes filling up with tears and fear. Trickshot smirked before he started to crack the whip against Clint's back. the was able to do his 5 whips before he stepped forward, pulling his dagger out of the sheath. "31 cuts." Trickshot growled out as he grabbed Clint's arm. despite the younger boy's struggles, Trickshot was able to keep a firm hold of him and had begun to cut Clint's arms. giving him 16 on one arm and 15 on the other.

"you will be a good apprentice." Trickshot growled out, pushing Clint away and he gave a loud, cruel laugh. "your own brother had not even gotten that close to hitting the bulls-eye. i wonder what makes you so different." Trickshot questioned, smirking before he shook his head. "no matter, you better get to practicing now. we have lessons tomorrow at 3:00 Pm sharp. do not be late." Trickshot told Clint before he left to let the ringmaster know that Clint would be his new apprentice.

* * *

 _I became Trickshot's new apprentice after that. i was whipped and cut up a lot more after that, for different reasons. and while i had regrets of ever touching that bow before, i now have come to find this a happy time in my life. not because of trickshot and the tortures he put me through, but because i wouldn't be the man i am today if i hadn't touched that bow. i don't know where i would be at if i hadn't gotten my hands on that bow so many years ago._


	4. Author's Note: Sorry this is not a chapt

I am so sorry i haven't updated in a few weeks (i feel like an ass for not doing so and Clint and Phil have been getting annoyed by my lack of posting) but i have been studying for finals (the only reason why they have forgiven me for not posting XD) i have Ch 4 halfway written and my finals tests are next week. so pretty much next week i will try to get back into posting :D

Also for those following/favorited my AkuRoku stories, i have not forgotten them and have chapters written out and reediting so i can post them! i will be posting chapters for them around the time i start reposting for this wonderful story :D

I love you guys and i am so sorry that i am such a bad author to keep you all waiting (but i hope that wait will be worth it :D )

Love always,

Anime-Gal311


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